I just had the idea to write about the time I had a fisting related health scare. It’s occasionally there in the back of my mind when I’m thinking about my fisting future, but I never considered that others might benefit from hearing about it. So, let’s take it apart and have a look.
It was about a year and a half ago now, and I was with my boyfriend, who knows my ass like the back of his hand. We were playing deep; it must have been the first or second time we played deep together, as I was just testing the waters myself and finding some kind of strange pleasure in deeper exploration. Everything was careful and slow. We were using a thin, long dildo, and I was LOVING it. At some point the dildo hit an awkward spot about 30cm deep, and the feeling became no longer pleasurable. It wasn’t a sharp pain, just a really awkward feeling. I asked to stop immediately.
I was fairly high on poppers, so wasn’t quite sure what I was feeling. We stopped play, and I had to simply kneel on the bed for a while, coming down from the high and trying to gauge how painful the feeling was. The soberer I became, the more it felt like my guts had been rearranged. I initially suspected the worst, and wondered about calling an ambulance. But my boyfriend did a great job at keeping me calm, and I went to have a douche to see how the water came out. It came out normally, without any blood, and the feeling slowly subsided over the next 30 minutes. Needless to say, we didn’t go back to playing. Now, if I remember correctly, the dildo slid in by itself a fair few times, and the last time was just a bit too much for me. Be careful with dildos, as they can slide in by themselves if they find the right angle and pressure – this one did. So, over the following few weeks I was suuuuuuuper careful when testing my depth again: nice and slow, not using poppers, just trying to give myself more time. I survived to tell the tale, and now I’m much, much better at taking things deep.
What this means
- Don’t panic if you feel sudden pain. If you were playing gently and with lots of lube (we were), there is little to no chance of injuring yourself.
- The painful feeling could have been just the straightening out or pushing of some kink I had in my guts. It could have also been a straining of the tissue that holds the colon in place in your body. The dildo was gently but consistently pushing, so something had to give.
- Always use heaps of lube when playing deep. Flood your sad sorry guts with it.
- Dildos are not a great way to feel what’s happening up there. If you’re training though, there’s not really an alternative.
- Take your body seriously. I’ve come across stories where people are afraid to go to the hospital, where they’re willing to pretend nothing happened. That’s how fisting kills you. Don’t be an idiot. Getting to the hospital within the first hours of the accident will save your life.
- That feeling has never happened intensely since then, and in the time that has followed I’ve become a really happy depth bottom. Don’t let this story deter you from trying your depth; but keep in mind everything in this entry as you do so. Refer especially to further tip No. 4 below.
- With time and lube, you can take anything.
- Try to stay away from the poppers if you’re training your depth. You want to be fully there with the feeling, so you can recognise if something’s wrong.
- If you feel/hear a pop sound, that could mean a perforation in your colon, and is life threatening. Quick! Off to the hospital with you. Happens sometimes if you’re getting your guts punched at 100kph down to the elbow. The result is air and all its foreign bodies getting into your abdomen and you dying of peritonitis.
- If you’re worried, regardless of whether or not you heard a pop, a first way to test is to douche. Fill ’er up with cold water and see what comes out. If there’s blood, how much? Is it oxygenated (bright red) or deoxygenated (dark red)? Deoxygenated blood isn’t a huge deal because is carried in capillaries and veins. Oxygenated blood is carried in the arteries, which are thicker and have strong pressure, so to burst one means you’ve done some proper damage. It also means you’ll bleed out rather than heal by yourself. Now, if no or not enough water comes back out when you douche, then it may have found its way through a perforation. Try to remain calm, and call an ambulance.
- From hearsay, point 1 seems to be something that is only likely to happen when the bottom loses all inhibitions AND is given a position where he can ride himself up and down on the arm. He gets too enthusiastic. Happened to a friend of mine; colostomy bag, a big scar on his belly, and years of no playing. A top in control is more likely to stay somewhat sober, so his movements will be better suited to the openness and wetness of the ass he’s playing inside. Basically the bottom can’t feel shit up there compared to what the top can feel (that’s kinda hot, right?).
- Practice giving your body time to get used to new feelings. I still sometimes get this majorly strange feeling in my body when I play deep, and it’s about transforming that feeling, recognising it as something pleasurable. A few weeks ago, I could still feel a partner’s arm deep in me well after he had come out. It was at first really odd, but then I gave myself a chance to just let it be there, and then it felt really amazing. Be aware that on a scientific level, you are able to change your brain’s hardwiring through practice. You are able to make associations between movements and feelings that didn’t exist before, and your brain is building new connections to in future enable the ease with which these movements and feelings happen. It’s a part of a thing called neuroplasticity, where your brain restructures itself as you learn. Let your mind and body take their time. You can almost be a leisurely observer as this truly amazing activity takes place. Be a curious explorer, and keep your wits about you.