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So God created the bottom’s butthole, and it was gooooooood

Photo by Elena Koycheva on Unsplash

Practical

So God created the bottom’s butthole, and it was gooooooood

You’ve undoubtedly felt that beautiful thing: like when you got that remarkably thick dick in your ass, or that time you accidentally sat on the knob of a bed frame, or that time your cousin came up behind you and poked a baseball bat at your asshole.

This entry is a little introduction for all the fist-curious bottom boys. I’ll try to keep it light and easy, at the same time giving you some important tips for your journey. You’ve undoubtedly felt that beautiful thing: like when you got that remarkably thick dick in your ass, or that time you accidentally sat on the knob of a bed frame, or that time your cousin came up behind you and poked a baseball bat at your asshole. You know that surprise-ache-give-me-more feeling of taking something that clearly doesn’t quite fit in there. You are definitely not alone!

Furthermore, you now belong to an elite echelon of powerbottoms who actively go after this feeling. Maybe you haven’t yet met a guy with whom you’re comfortable taking that next step with, so in the mean time here’s how to take care of your ass:

  1. Buy J-lube.
    It’s lube powder most commonly used for fisting. It otherwise serves the animal husbandry industry, but let’s not think too much about that. You can find it at most gay stores, but it can be much more cost effective to buy on Amazon or Ebay. Mix the powder with water (warm, cold, filtered, unfiltered- whatever makes you comfortable) and Bob’s your aunt. My tried and true method is to shake it in a water bottle; others choose to use a sports drink shaker, or maybe even a blender. As you progress you’ll figure out how thick you want to mix it, but for starters make it thicker than you think you need. This lube isn’t like fucking lube; it needs to stick around for longer, and it needs to coat your colon like regular fucking lube never will. These days there are a few other brands which will do the same thing, and it’s a matter of trial and error to see what you like. I like K-lube because you need less powder to make the same amount. I also like crisco, which is a plant fat often used by Americans for baking. Don’t worry about absorbing the fat because that’s not what the colon does. I’ll write more specifically about lube and special ingredients for it in another entry.
  2. Plugs
    Buy some plugs with various widths, again cheaper online. I like sexshopgay.nl, or meo.de. Challenge yourself by buying something you know you can’t quite take- after all how else will you extend yourself?

    This was my starter. Works a charm
  3. Set the mood.
    Choose a day where you have no time constraints and nobody to bother you. Choose a space where you know you can focus on the task at hand, a space where you don’t have work or mess lying around. If you want an extra mood enhancer, candles or coloured lighting help.
  4. Douche that mofo.
    Just give it a regular douche, as though you’re going to get fucked. You can worry about more complicated douching another time. It’s just a plug, and you’re alone so don’t worry if shit happens.
  5. Play.
    I mean this in the purest sense of the word possible. Explore that unff-make-me-wider-please feeling, and don’t worry about what anybody might think if they knew this is what you’re doing. Listen to your ass, take things slowly, and take breaks. If there’s blood it’s best to stop. Also worth noting is that for your first couple of times practicing you probably won’t succeed in getting your new plug in. You better get used to that failure because it is a long road, and like all kinds of practicing, you’ll be wanting more and will get frustrated when it doesn’t work. Let it be, and look forward to next time. Be quietly happy with the knowledge that if you persist, sooner or later you’ll fit almost anything you want in there. Trust me. In the mean time, enjoy the journey.
  6. Douche again
    You might want to douche after a session too. It gets the lube out, and it can be a nice relaxing way to end the session.

ON POPPERS

They can be nice. Use them sparingly, and only as an enhancer rather than an enabler. Wait until it feels good first. You can buy them at gay shops, or more cheaply online. Poppers.de or dupoz.de are my go-to stores, simply because they’re local. I’ll write more about poppers in another entry.

ON YOUR FIRST TIME
Chances are you’ll take your own hand before ever taking anyone else’s, and your training period before doing so will be considerable; mine was about three months. However, this is not always the case. Some asses are just more talented than others. My current fist partner’s ass is one of those: I gave him his very first, and his ass just took it without any coaxing, not to mention the broad smile on his face. He trained one time and afterwards decided he didn’t need it. For those of us not so gifted, we need to take it easy and challenge ourselves in smaller ways. Just know that aquiring a skill goes further than having talent.  When you find a guy who wants to fist you, talk about it beforehand. Tell him how you think you like it, what you’re afraid of, and why you chose him. During it, he should tell you exactly what he’s doing (it’s often not easy to tell), and tell him how it feels for you. The best way is to find an experienced top, with the hope that he’s got his technique down. In my personal opinion only play with a top who also bottoms, because he’s felt what you’re feeling and will sense when to pause, when to go harder, and when to stop. I hate to be a top-shamer, but I find total fist tops really dubious. Sure, some really talented ones exist, but I suspect that a lot are just afraid of the level of control, submission and commitment required to bottom.  Above all things, keep your safety in check. Blood and shit will happen. Relax about it, make sure your partner is relaxed about it, and make it a non-issue. The culture of ickiness towards blood and faeces that you may have encountered when fucking is something that you will now leave behind. Finally, as I mentioned earlier, should these things happen then it’s best to have a douche, and maybe to stop playing.

Have fun!

Jazzmatazz

xtube/recon: jazzmatazz

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