Know thy douching

ORACLE: You know what that means? It’s Latin. Means `Know thyself’. I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Being done is just like being in love. No one can tell you your in love, you just know it. Through and through. Balls to bones. Well, I better have a look at you. Open your mouth, say Ahhh.
NEO: Ahhh.
ORACLE: Okay. Now I’m supposed to say, `Umm, that’s interesting, but…’ then you say…
NEO: But what?
ORACLE: But you already know what I’m going to tell you.
NEO: I’m not done.

Finding the best douching method for you, and knowing when you’re finished, are things you learn over time. Just yesterday while douching I had a revelation that when my colon feels like it’s swelling up with water, it means that there’s still shit up there blocking the water from continuing further up the tract. Eventually that feeling was no longer there, and the water just kept continuing up and up, and I knew that I must be finished. This lack of expanding feeling contributes to the overall feeling of knowing that you’re done. Other attributes can include a light, glittery feeling when you walk around, and a general horniness eminating from your pussyhole. Bliss.

Jazzmatazz’s Helpful Hints

Over the years I’ve tried experimented based on ideas of my own as well as from others. A few tips I can recommend:

1. Try to make your douche pleasant; after all, you’ll be there a while. Use nice warm water. If you’re like me and enjoy hot showers, then you will find pleasure in douching with fairly warm water. As a rule of thumb, let the water first touch the underside of your forearm. If it’s not too warm for that, then it will be fine for your insides. 
2. Pointing very warm water at your butthole will encourage flow. Think of mama dogs licking their babies’ bums to encourage pooing. The warmth makes things relax, and I certainly notice an ease of movement deeper down when I just point at the hole, instead of actually going in. It’s also pleasurable, and your insides do the work themselves rather than relying on the water to drain everything out. That way you can avoid douching fatigue.
3. I’ve done a lot of deep insertions for douching, but these days I go only just inside my butthole and let the water fill up nice and deep, à la douching illustrated instruction manual in entry 3. I’m playing deeper than I ever have before, and I have no problems. You don’t need a two foot long douching hose unless you’re going for shoulder depth.
4. A long dildo and some poppers move the job along. The dildo will straighten your second-hole kink out, making it easier for the waste to come all the way down (and no, that two foot long douche won’t do nearly as good a job at straightening things out). Poppers make your involuntary muscles relax, so if they’re holding things in then the poppers will make them let go. 
5. Douche for max 15 mins and then give it a break. Your ass will do the work itself in the meantime. See below.

In doubt?

Looking a bit further, here’s another thing: if in doubt, you’re probably not done. If the water wasn’t sparkly clean several times, and if you feel a bit unsure, go back again. Lots of people learn this the hard way, making a real dog’s breakfast of their partners’ dick or hand. A good top will laugh it off, but in any case it’s of course a bottom’s worst nightmare. While being uncertain means there’s more to come, try not to overdo the douching. There have been times where I douche my ass out for hours while some adonis waits in my bedroom, only to find that my insides feel raw and rough, and definitely not up for a play. Do your douching in short rounds, and go have a drink and a chat with your playmate in between. 

What not to eat

Finally, what you put into your body leading up to play will dictate how successful your douche is. I’ve had many rubbish douches over the years, and my list of no-nos is:

• excessive alcohol 
• onions
• spicy food
• red meat (or probably all meat, but I tend to have no problem with white meat)
• too many leafy vegetables or veg with skins. Takes a fair while to come out, but the upside is that you recognise it out the other end and can then judge when you’re done.
• eating too much 

What I like to eat in the 24 hours before, and during a session:

• Fibre supplements and protein shakes
• pasta or rice – it comes out easily
• Coffee, energy drink and a few sweet things to keep your energy up

That’s all! Happy douching everyone!