The Dildorian Diaries are my latest recounts of my journey with specific dildos, as well as the journey of one of my new playmates, @Greedy_FF (find him on Twitter). Documenting both our journeys over the Dildorian Diaries will give you two different perspectives based on our different stages of development, seeing as he is just starting out with depth and width exploration whereas I have been going for depth and width for 4-5 years.
Comparing the two of us is interesting. We both have the same natural talent for getting punched (both members of the 1000 punch club, him more recently than me), we are both incredibly greedy (obviously), both happily vers, and both look for connection and intimacy to achieve those great fisty feelings. We are both focused more on width and depth in our dildo training, and have between us a mammoth arsenal of Topped Toys, a few Hankey’s Toys, Square Peg toys as well as a couple of Bad Dragon toys. Currently we have been getting to work on the Topped Toys range. I am aiming to make the Spike 125 fit better inside me, as well as getting the Gape Keeper 116 to feel more at home so I can take it with me on trips to the supermarket. Greedy_FF is working his way up his array of sizes of the Grip; after I recently unplugged the 106 from him, threw it into the corner of his playroom and told him it is too small, he is now mastering the 126.
So, with that introcuction out of the way, here begin the Dildorian Diaries…
Advance of the Gape Keeper
I’ve recently come to realise that I’m going on a loooong journey with Topped Toys. Their Grip 134 was the first I tried: it mesmerised me and really won me over within a couple of weeks, and now I swear by it whenever I need a grand opening. Then, in a way that can only be perceived as “Oh, you think you’re hot stuff hey? Well try this on for size then!”, the boys at Topped Toys sent me the Gape Keeper 116 which, having had my greedy greedy eyes on it for more than a year, I discovered felt a lot more intense than I was expecting. That’s what this diary entry is about: the Topped Toys glorious Gape Keeper range.
Where the Grip 134 fucks me sideways, the Gape Keeper 116 makes me feel like I’m pregnant. The bulk of the egg-shaped toy sits up high, with a slender lower area and base – all so innocent and cute! Since having such success with keeping the Grip inside me for extended periods (up to 30 mins), I have been fixated on doing the same with the Gape Keeper, which has produced mixed results. This guy is super intense (hm, I sense a theme here with Topped Toys), and sometimes too much to handle for my second ring, which gets that bulk pushing up at it. It lures me into a false sense of security each time because the maximum girth goes into my asshole no problem, but getting that knocking on your second ring is really something else…hence the pregnancy. It just sits up there without needing to come out, and really makes me feel like I’m Mary carrying God’s baby or something. It’s intense and beautiful and shocking and…intense, and the longer I keep it in me, the more the intensity builds. I have been known to comfort myself by repeating the mantra, “this is what pregnant women deal with for nine months…and babies get much bigger than this!”. It’s a work in progress, and I am so looking forward to the Gape Keeper fitting into me in a more relaxed way in future. Übung macht den Meister! (German for “Keep letting it fuck you into oblivion – each day that goes by you will find more pleasure!”)
This brings me to an additional toy that the wonderful Rod from Topped Toys sent me last week, the Gape Keeper 85 (85 being 8.5 inches in maximum circumference, compared to the 11.6 inch circumference of the 116). I was keen to have some real success with keeping the Gape Keeper in, so he suggested this size (calling it a pacifier, an idea which I find incredibly sexy). I put it in during play last weekend and it was comically small compared to the 116, but that is of course the beauty of it. The superior platinum silicone along with its pleasant size meant that a couple of nights ago I was able to sleep with it in me overnight. I woke myself up with it around 6am with a slight tug, remembered Rod’s pacifier idea, sighed to myself in pleasure, rolled over and fell back asleep. A small slice of heaven to keep my butt feeling happy. Once I woke up and was washing it in the shower I noticed that it isn’t actually that small after all, and it is heavy for its size – I guess I’m just a dirty old fist slut that can take stuff like that, no big deal. Give me a couple of months and I’ll be like that with the Gape Keeper 116 as well.