All Things Lube

Gather round everyone, this is about to get messy. Let’s talk lube. 

This entry goes out to Julain, who specifically asked for info on this subject. Selecting the right lube is very important for ensuring the success of your session. I’ve learned the hard way, having unplanned hook-ups where I didn’t bring any lube and all that was available was regular fucking lube. I won’t dismiss fucking lube as bad, but it’s not designed for real stretching, no matter whether it’s water, oil or silicone based, or whether it’s expensive. It will all stop your ass from performing like you want it to. The ass can get easily irritated, pain develops, and before you know it you just want to stop trying. Fisting lubes are designed with thickness and soothing in mind. It comes as powder so that you can make tonnes of it without breaking the bank, and trust me, you will need tonnes of it. Here are some products and their descriptions:

Fist powders

J-Lube 

Powder, sold for animal husbandry, in other words sticking arms up cows to check on their foetuses. A standard product in fisting, and it works. Doesn’t keep for very long as it has no preservatives, so wash out your bottle after a couple of days, or maximum one week if it’s been kept in the fridge. It mixes pretty well, but you need to use a lot of powder if you want it a bit thick.

K-Lube

Another powder, which I discovered a couple of years ago. You need a lot less powder for thickness, and I find it’s more cost effective than J-Lube. Some people say it’s not as sticky, but I’ve never had a problem. This is the one I use, and I don’t see a reason to change. Unlike J, K has been designed for sex. Between humans. And not cows.

Fuckcumwhoreslutface Miscellaneous Expensive Personalised Lube

… you find in sex shops these days. I don’t buy unknown brands because I’m satisfied with what I use, but try them out and see. Some are stupidly expensive. Buy online to get the best prices.
So you have your lube, now you need your butter. Lube makes things wet, allowing a gliding feeling like the soothing hands of a professional masseur rather than Jim-Bob the plumber come to scrape out your sink pipe.

Oil based

Fisting lube is made of water which dries up quickly. You need something oil based to coat and soothe the insides and keep them that way:

Crisco

It’s an American product, a grease used for baking and is made of soybean and palm oils. Holy shit, it’s amazing how polarized people are about Crisco. Some people hate the smell; others don’t care. Some like to really coat the insides as well as slap it on the buttocks, making for some very messy play, which can be super fun. The idea is it coats the tissue without coming off or drying up. It’s grease – getting it off your hands takes a lot of effort, and it works exactly like that inside your butt too. A good technique is to mix it with a tiny bit of lube to make it softer, then put a fair bit inside – enough to give your guts a good coat. You might play around inside a bit, and then soon after you add lube for the wetness.

Boy Butter

The cute little brother of Crisco. It’s made of coconut oil. It is wetter, softer, for the more modern man and it doesn’t smell. Just as K-Lube is to J-Lube, Boy Butter is to Crisco: it’s designed for sex while the other older product is not. Same process: coat the insides, then add lube. I use it and am satisfied. Side note: when using grease or oils be careful with dildos. Some of them disintegrate when anything other than water-based lube is used. Also not compatible with latex, so if you do use latex gloves with it make sure you change them regularly. Nitrile gloves, unlike latex, are synthetic and will maintain their integrity when used with coconut oil. Normally the top can feel when gloves are getting old as they stick differently to the hand or may rip or disintegrate.
There are alternatives such as Trex (British, also for baking), the old trusty olive oil (remember those virgin days?), etc. etc. Experiment and figure out what works best for you.

Essential oils

Clove, jojoba, panthenol liechtenstein… The list goes on. These natural products can be found at pharmacies, drugstores and wellness shops, and are said to keep the mucosal skin healthy and nourished while you’re beating the fuck out of that hole (probably don’t mention that part to the staff at the Body Shop). I use clove and jojoba oils if I’m starting to feel tired or a bit sore, because of their mild natural anaesthetic properties. Careful, clove oil stinks. It won’t stop you from feeling anything, but will calm your ass back down if it’s a little inflamed. So will jojoba oil. You can alternatively add a synthetic medical anaesthetic called Lidocaine.

Read more about benefits of jojoba oil, a fave of mine:
https://www.healthline.com/health/beauty-skin-care/jojoba-oil-for-face#overview

Preparing Your Lube

Maybe you like it thick; maybe you like it thin. Experiment. There is no correct answer.Method: Add powder. Shake. Let it sit. Shake again. Check consistency. Add more powder. Shake. Let it sit. Etc etc. Do this between your douching in order to not waste time. Some people like to use a protein shaker to avoid clumps. I just shove it in my lube bottle. Never had a problem. Some people like to have exact measurements for their perfect lube consistency. I play it by ear each time, but you get a feel for how much you need for your tastes.If you want some extra comfort, warm up your lube in the microwave. Alternatively it can be soothing to lube up straight from the fridge. I find my ass doesn’t really care, but some people swear by hot and cold temperatures.Of course you can shove all manner of other things in your lube. I’ll leave that to your imagination.

The Application

Some like lots of lube, some like not much. I suggest adding plenty just to be on the safe side. If you’re punching, loads of Crisco flying everywhere can be super fun. If you’re playing deep, get plenty of lube deep inside by having the bottom get on all fours and tilting his body down such that his chest is on the bed and his ass is up, making the lube flow down into his sigmoid and beyond. Whenever in doubt, reapply. If you’re topping, be ahead of the bottom in taking care of the lube. He shouldn’t really need to ask you if you are attentive to the wetness. Lube dries up quickly. Reapply often.

Apply to lube what you should apply to fisting overall: don’t overthink it. Just experiment and enjoy, and you can never add too much lube. 

Enjoy!

– Jazzmatazz